blessed and cursed: navigating life as a fat, smart, and beautiful woman

on semaglutide, sin, southpark, and fannita

I have the blessing of having an incredible personality and being funnier, prettier, and smarter than most. I don't take this for granted—I make those around me laugh, share my wisdom and intelligence with the less fortunate, and offer skincare and charm tips to those I adore.

God had to humble me somewhere; it's only right. I have the horrible curse of being fat.

Honestly, I think God’s been cruel in picking this struggle for me. Being fat, for those who can't relate, is worse than being dumb, unfunny, and ugly.

No one feels bad for you when you're fat. They not only think it's your fault but also assign a list of moral failings to the state of your body. You can be ugly, unfunny, and dumb in peace—no one is indicting you for that. They feel bad for you and often make excuses: "Poor so-and-so, they just can't help it."

However, in our society, which was built on Abrahamic ideals, fatness is seen as a moral failing. It is sinful, and not a sin taken lightly. Christianity, in particular, lists seven deadly sins: greed, lust, sloth, wrath, envy, pride, and gluttony.

Many people feel a level of disgust, annoyance, and anger when recognizing fatness, whether or not they are fully conscious of it. Fatness, to them, is the personification of the especially horrible sin of gluttony. The other sins are far more easily concealed. There is no simpler way to show the world that you overindulge and lack discipline and self-control. Your fatness says it all.

Other girls get a first impression. In the words of a wise woman on TikTok (I apologize, I can't find her handle), you don't get a first impression when you are fat. As a fat person, you get fat. THAT is our first impression.

The ugly girls, I'm sure, can relate to this.

Still, even when attempting to rectify the issue of being fat or ugly, society can and will torment you. When trying to lose weight, you must do it within incredibly narrow parameters; otherwise, you will be vilified.

You must lose weight and cleanse yourself of the sin of fat through suffering. Without suffering through your weight loss journey, you will be disparaged by more or less everyone in your life, especially strangers.

Let's go through a scenario together: You had the gastric sleeve. When you tell people, "I lost 100 lbs through the sleeve," they'll smile saccharinely but respond with something like, "Wow, that's amazing, but surgery? Was that necessary? Couldn't you have tried keto?" If you did keto, you still wouldn't win, with others commenting, "Wow, that's not sustainable; you'll gain all the weight back."

Don't let your method of choice be the great equalizer: semaglutide. We can discuss the accusations of stealing medication from diabetics at a later date, but most people's issues with semaglutide lie in this idea of purification through weight loss. Semaglutide has made it so that weight loss is easily accessible, and many Americans face issues with insulin resistance, PCOS, binge eating, sugar addiction, and general obesity. This drug allows them to access a healthier body and the social capital associated with it. The semaglutide takers are not suffering to lose the weight; it's seemingly falling right off, and no one can stand it.

It's high time we discussed the reality of the choice to lose weight. Yes, health is wealth, but more fat people than we care to admit begin their obsession with losing weight as a means to social capital. When the Economist reports that "for an obese woman of average height, losing 65 lbs can have the same impact on her wages as gaining a master's degree," losing weight as a means to capital, especially for women, cannot be overstated. There is obviously nowhere near a similar connection with men. Richer women tend to be thinner, and in this capitalist hellscape, we are socialized from a young age to search for capital advancement, which is seemingly unattainable unless we arrive in a package ready to receive it.

A woman's thinness is valued the way it is primarily for two reasons: a woman's moral status is paramount, and women aren't the holders of capital. If fatness is sinful and a woman’s role in a family is to be a moral leader, then by existing as a fat woman, she's failing that standard. Similarly, since women largely do not hold capital, much of their worth and consequent status signifiers come through their physical presentation. Beauty is a currency; it holds value for women. This doesn't mean we can push all our chips in on beauty, but it does mean we must be conscientious of how society interacts with us when we abide by the social contract and are beautiful. I am personally on my weight loss journey chiefly to attain the social and economic capital I deserve, which I know I won't receive in this body.

In the South Park sketch on "The End of Obesity," there is this overarching theme of democratizing weight loss and health. The fact that Beverly Hills size 6 mothers are taking the drug away from the actual fat bitches (like me) who need it highlights the issue. Wealthy women live by and understand the value of thinness as a subtle signifier, and so does everyone else implicitly. I enjoyed the sketch, especially the bit about navigating the American healthcare system, and the satire on Miss Lizzo and her role throughout the episode.

I dislike Lizzo for several reasons; flashing kids at an NBA game comes to mind. In this context, I truly hate the whole body positivity movement she champions. Mark my words, Lizzo will lose a significant amount of weight in the next two years—not only because thin is in but because she, like much of the body positivity brigade, doesn't believe the views she parrots. Many in the body positivity community have lost weight, come online crying, and fought with bots justifying the health issues they face as a result of their obesity. We should all take a note from the body neutrality girls' book: love your body, appreciate your body, and keep it pushing.

Let's now say you achieve the dream—you lose all the weight. Congratulations! You now have to contend with the psychological terrorism of coping with how society treats you. All fat girls, and I'm sure guys, have this fantasy about what navigating the world will be like when they're thin. I doubt many of us are capable of maintaining our sanity once this dream is realized because for many of us, it often is, or at least feels like an incredibly far-fetched dream.

This is why, for all her faults, I sympathize so strongly with whatever is happening with Fannita on TikTok right now. I'm not arguing whether she is right or wrong, sane or insane, sober or on drugs. What I am saying is that I can empathize with a young woman who lost an incredible amount of weight in such a short period while being perceived by millions of people and now living in a city where beauty, especially thinness, like followers, is almost worth more than the money in your pocket.

Fannita, like many fat girls, believed that the difficulties she had navigating the world were due to her weight. Losing weight, then discovering that it wasn't the weight all along but something more intrinsic, must be incredibly hard. Dissecting social situations from the perspective of marginalizations that may have felt inconsequential in a city like LA I'm sure is tough.

The internet is presently berating Fannita. I do not know if this time she will be given the same grace. What I do know is that she is not ugly, unfunny, or dumb. She has escaped those curses and the curse of fatness. Now, her personality is the impression she leaves, and it may be more important than the internet's first impression of her: fat.

    –amoderngirl

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currents

lifestyle

• kerasal Intensive Foot Repair Skin Healing Ointment – the cheapest solution for prettier feet, just trust me

• j. crew linen – great quality for the prices and just amazing summer staples

• lash lifts – go to a local licensed esthetician and get one, they last like a month and a half, heal your lashes love 💋

reads

• the internet archive provides a model of free knowledge for all

• status and culture: how our desire for social rank creates taste, identity, art, fashion, and constant change by w. david marx

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